Emotional Intelligence Isn’t Magic. It’s Trainable.

Emotional intelligence often gets talked about like it’s a personality trait, something you’re either born with or not.

It’s not.

Emotional intelligence (EQ), communication, resilience, motivation, these are learned skills. They grow the same way physical strength does: with reps.

No one walks into the gym and deadlifts 100kg on day one.
No one picks up a guitar and plays a full song perfectly the first try.

Yet people walk into a difficult conversation and expect it to go smoothly, even if they’ve never practised how to:

• regulate emotion

• listen properly

• challenge respectfully

• communicate clearly under pressure

That expectation sets people up to fail.

Human skills need the same respect we give “hard skills.”
They need time, repetition, feedback, failure, and a growth mindset.

So what does emotional intelligence actually mean?

At its core, emotional intelligence is the ability to:

• recognise what you’re feeling

• understand how it’s influencing your behaviour

• manage it well enough to respond rather than react

It’s not about being calm all the time.
It’s about noticing what’s happening before things escalate.

What’s the most basic element of emotional intelligence?

Awareness.

Before regulation.
Before empathy.
Before communication.

Awareness of:

• your tone

• your body language

• your internal state

• the impact you’re having on others

If you don’t notice it, you can’t change it.

What does emotional intelligence look like in real life?

Let’s make this practical.

For tradies

A job is behind schedule. Pressure’s high. Tempers are short.

Low EQ looks like snapping, blaming, or shutting down communication.
High EQ looks like recognising frustration early and saying:

“I’m getting frustrated here, let’s slow this down so we don’t miss something.”

That one sentence can prevent mistakes, rework, safety issues, and damaged working relationships.

For childcare educators

You’re managing children, families, routines, regulations all while running on limited energy.

Low EQ looks like bottling stress until burnout hits.
High EQ looks like noticing overwhelm early and asking for support before it spills into interactions with children or colleagues.

That protects relationships and wellbeing.

For healthcare workers

High-stakes environments. Emotionally charged situations. No pause button.

Low EQ isn’t about being a bad clinician, it’s about being human under pressure.
High EQ is recognising when stress is driving your responses and grounding yourself, so communication stays clear, calm, and safe.

That skill can change outcomes for patients, families, and teams.

For sporting clubs

Games are intense. Emotions run high. Decisions happen fast, often in front of teammates, opponents, umpires, and supporters.

Low EQ shows up as:

• blowing up at an umpire

• snapping at teammates

• carrying frustration into the next play

• letting one mistake spiral into many

High EQ looks like:

• recognising the emotional spike and resetting quickly

• refocusing on the next contest instead of the last mistake

• communicating calmly with teammates under pressure

• modelling composure, especially when others are watching

In club environments, emotional intelligence doesn’t just affect performance, it shapes culture.

Players with strong human skills help create teams that stay connected when things aren’t going well, support each other through losses, and hold standards without tearing each other down.

That’s leadership, whether you wear the captain’s armband or not

Why this matters across every industry?

Most people don’t struggle with the technical parts of their job.
They struggle with the human parts.

And yet, we rarely practise them.

We don’t rehearse difficult conversations.
We don’t train emotional regulation.
We don’t normalise feedback on communication.

Then we wonder why things fall apart under pressure.

You’re allowed to get it wrong.
You’re expected to get it wrong.
You just need to keep trying, with intention.

That’s how emotional intelligence is built.

A question worth sitting with

If emotional intelligence were trained the same way technical skills are in your industry…
What would improve first?

Safety?
Communication?
Culture?
Wellbeing?

A Moment to Pause, Reflect, and Say Thank You

As the year comes to a close, I wanted to take a moment to slow things down.

Not to rush into goals, plans, or big declarations for next year, but to pause and reflect on what’s already happened.

If you’ve stopped by and read one of my blogs this year, thank you.
Truly. It means more than you probably realise.

If something I’ve written resonated with you and you’ve shared it with someone else, that means the world to me. These reflections only matter if they help someone pause, think, or feel a little more connected.

So before the year wraps up, here’s a look back at the wins, the learnings, and what I’m carrying forward.

The Wins Worth Noticing

This year, I created Dan Hall Co, something that started as a quiet idea and slowly became real.

I was fortunate to deliver Human Skills workshops to over 250 people across the Melbourne area, creating space for conversations around communication, emotional intelligence, leadership, and connection. Seeing people pause mid-session, reflect, and have those “ah-huh” moments never gets old. That’s the part of the work that lights me up.

One moment that made me especially proud happened during an Emerging Leaders Day.

While I was introducing the session, a young nurse raised her hand and said, very honestly:

“I don’t think I should be here. I’m not a leader.”

I walked over and asked her a simple question.

“When a patient deteriorates in your care and you press the alarm for help, and everyone arrives… who do they turn to first?”

She paused.

Then, a little sheepishly, she replied,
“Me?”

I smiled and said,
“So in that moment, you were the leader.”

“I guess so?”

“So why wouldn’t today be for you? You’re exactly the person who should be here.”

Her face lit up.

From that moment on, she flourished. She leaned into the activities, contributed openly, and genuinely enjoyed the day. At the end, she came up to thank me for what she called the “pep talk.”

It was a reminder that so many people are already leading, quietly and responsibly, without ever being told they are.

Leadership isn’t always loud.
Sometimes it’s simply being the one people turn to when it matters.

Another highlight this year was working with an electrician who initially struggled to see the value in so-called “soft skills.” Over time, that shifted. He began noticing his emotional responses, communicating more clearly, and even improving how he showed up at home with his wife, kids, and colleagues. Watching skills transfer from work into real life is incredibly rewarding.

I also created a Skool community, bringing together people from around the world who care about connection, communication, and growth. Slowly and intentionally, we’re building a culture focused on one simple idea: Make Human Skills Matter.

The Learnings That Shaped Me

Creating your own business is hard work.

All the little things you don’t think about at the start show up very quickly. Systems, structure, energy, doubt, it all becomes real. But it’s also been one of the most rewarding experiences of my career. I’ve developed skills I never expected to need, and I’ve loved every minute of it, especially witnessing those “ah-huh” moments in clients and audiences.

Motivation hasn’t always been easy.

Some days, starting a draft email felt like a win. Some days, even opening the laptop, or getting out of bed took effort. What I’ve learned is that making tasks smaller matters. One sentence. One action. One ticked box. Most of the time, that small step creates momentum. And even when it doesn’t, it still counts.

Consistency hasn’t meant giving 100% every day.

There were days where I only had 20% to give, and that’s okay. Being human means some days are lighter than others. Doing one thing is still progress. It’s one less thing for tomorrow. Showing up a little each day accumulates into something far bigger over time, you just have to start.

The Support That Carried Me Through

I’d be remiss not to acknowledge the person who supported me most when things felt heavy.

My wife, Nicole.

Over the past 12 months, she has been there in every way, reading drafts of my posts, offering encouragement, grounding me when doubt crept in, and putting up with me on days when life felt tough.

Like most families, we’ve been tested at times while balancing kids, work, business, family life, and our dogs. It hasn’t always been smooth. But we’ve worked through it together.

Her support has been steady, honest, and deeply human and I’m incredibly grateful.

Thank you, honey. I love you.

Looking Ahead to What Matters Most

Next year, my biggest goal is more family time.

I’ve reshaped both my nursing work and my business so I can be more present at home. I once had a senior colleague tell me his kids remembered him always working, and that stayed with me.

I don’t want that for my kids.

I want them to remember morning coffees before school,. days at the footy, ice-cream dates, the good stuff.

At the same time, Making Human Skills Matter remains something I’m deeply passionate about.

Since COVID, many of us have become more inward. More hesitant. More worried about saying the wrong thing. But relationships don’t grow without curiosity. Connection doesn’t happen if we don’t feel comfortable asking a question.

And yes, that includes you reading this now.

I want to build a relationship with you. To share moments, reflections, lessons, and stories that help us all show up a little more human, at work, at home, and everywhere in between.

A Gentle Invitation to Reflect

Before the year ends, maybe pause and ask yourself:

• What’s one win from this year you haven’t acknowledged yet?

• What challenged you but helped you grow?

• Where did you show up, even when it was hard?

• What do you want the people closest to you to remember about this season of your life?

You don’t need perfect answers.
Honest ones are enough.

Thank you for being here.
Thank you for reading.
And if you think this might resonate with someone else, feel free to share it with them.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE, HERE IS FOR AN EXCITING 2026!

The Missing Curriculum: Why Human Skills Matter in Every Industry

Across nursing, childcare, trades, teaching etc. the details change, but the pattern doesn’t.

People know their job. What they often struggle with is the people side of the job.

Difficult conversations.
=> Conflict.
=> Burnout.
=> Misunderstandings.
=> Miscommunication.
=> Emotional blowouts.

These aren’t “soft” issues. They’re the issues that affect safety, morale, productivity, and wellbeing.

And yet, when you look closely, there’s a noticeable gap:

No competency check for empathy.
No yearly assessment for communication.
No refresher training for emotional intelligence.

Human skills have quietly taken a back seat, even though they’re the gears that keep teams functioning, especially under pressure.

What’s interesting is this: when people struggle with these areas, we often personalise it.
They’re not great with people.
They don’t handle feedback well.
They avoid conflict.

But what if the issue isn’t the person?
What if it’s the absence of practice?

We don’t expect clinical skills, trade skills, or technical knowledge to improve without training, repetition, and feedback. Yet somehow, we expect human skills to develop automatically, often in the most high-pressure moments.

That’s not a character flaw.
It’s a training gap.

And slowly, workplaces are starting to recognise this. Not as a “nice to have,” but as something essential to safety, connection, and sustainability.

So here’s the question worth sitting with:

If human skills were given the same attention as technical skills in your workplace, what do you think would improve first?
Communication?
Confidence?
Culture?
Wellbeing?

Even noticing the gap is a powerful place to start.

How I Found My Voice in Human Skills Coaching

My human skills journey didn’t start with a course, a book, or a lightbulb moment. It started with frustration.

Back in 2021, I stepped into leading the CNS group. Amazing clinicians. Smart. Skilled. Dedicated. But when it came to handling challenging conversations, confidence was close to zero. And it wasn’t their fault.

They were expected to lead… but never given a safe place to practice the skills that leadership actually requires: empathy, self-awareness and regulation, clarity under pressure, dealing with conflict.

It's funny, we obsess over clinical, trade, or teaching skills. We’ll sit through yearly competencies, redo training, study guidelines. But human skills? They’re expected to magically develop on their own.

The truth is, they don’t.

That gap is where everything changed for me. I realised no one was teaching these skills. Not properly. Not consistently. Not safely.
So, I started doing it myself.

And, honestly, I had no idea it would lead me here, writing a blog, running workshops, coaching people from different industries, and trying to help others build confidence under pressure.

This is the beginning of my next chapter. I’m glad you’re here for the ride.